piqued
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bloody nose is still bloody blocked as it has been for the whole bloody day. sneezed through the whole bloody afternoon. bloody ecd test was a bloody bitch. and the bloody bus was caught in a bloody traffic jam all the way to bloody town and then diverted cuz of bloody chingay and i had to walk all the way from bloody far east to bloody cine. bloody hell.
i quite like being left alone at times. the scars in my heart will never seem to heal. it's tough how sometimes you make a decision and try to stick by it before discovering that youre actually just deceiving yourself. i just cant make up my mind.
sometimes i pause and wonder how many poly friends il actually keep in contact with after we all graduate. it's disturbing how superficial some friendships can be. not the kind of friendships i particularly enjoy having.
looking to the future, life seems to be on a fast forward button. it just depends what God has in store for me. just praying really hard il make it to a uni where i can do something that i really wanna do.
was pondering over this brief topic we had during cell 2 weeks back and concluded that the world is quite hatable afterall. the unfairness, the inequality, the hate between nations, the bloodshed, the poverty, the slavery, the stereotypes, the discriminations, the segregation, the mockery, the rich becoming richer, the poor becoming poorer, the ironies, the natural disasters, the human disasters, soldiers being sent to die, innocent lifes being taken away so casually.. i could just go on forever.
it pains me to see how so many people around the world are suffering, or living lives not even comparable by our standards.
but it doesnt take that much to realize how hypocritical and rhetorical this world is. just look at real issues closer to you. for instance the disabled, the handicapped, kids with down syndrome, maybe the really low in iq people, or even the very bad looking people, and not to mention the elderly who survive by picking garbage off the street. will they face difficulties being accepted into the mainstream society? will talks of being a united nation be nothing but propaganda? or will cliches such as 'life can be beautiful if you make the most of it' continue to dominate the minds of many?
ok maybe im just being discontented.
bite me.
jem - 2:35 AM