3 months later..
----------------------
sometimes, ignoring can bring about the best feeling in the world.
bmt was, an experience filled with ups and downs.
a newer life awaits, more discoveries to be made.
anticipation holds the key for today.
please God, i dont know how ..
jem - 12:07 AM
Thursday, September 08, 2005
renewed
------------
today's the big day.
i couldnt really sleep last night. guess i was a little scared, and excited. quite a nerve wrecking experience i'd say, this anticipation.
i feel my brain has rotted quite a considerable bit this 5 months. i cant even speak or write proper engrish now. how ar?
but still the late enlistment date and all the opportunities it allowed was all God's plan i say. had the opportunity to attend retreats and conferences, as well as to travel and perform. the former set me thinking quite a bit, trying to draw fair balances from all the experiences i got; and the latter didnt necessarily provide very positive reflections but i attribute them all to the process of humbling myself and growing in the Lord. working was as usual a great bore, the only excitement i got was to witness some really intense politics.
im gonna miss music quite a bit when im in there i guess. no Christian songs for 2 weeks!
on the bright side im getting a new hairstyle.
jem - 11:30 AM
Saturday, June 25, 2005
bored
--------------
2 days to employment.
13 days to unemployment.
15 days to wasbe.
18 days to graduation ceremony.
23 days to kerkrade, netherlands for the 15th world music contest.
32 days to an eventless life. somebody please provide me a job, or extra pocket money. thanks.
75 days to tekong. wait i think i counted wrongly. but who cares.
.
jem - 12:17 PM
Thursday, April 21, 2005
class of 2005
-------------------
GRADUATE.
God is good. for wat he has put me through this 3 long years, im eternally grateful.
for now, tekong beckons. 140 days more.
sometimes i still dream about you. this scar that never seems to heal.
.
jem - 4:09 PM
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
take me deeper
----------------------
music is the only element to put me in a whole new world.
the sound of music was touching. and good. musicals are always interesting cuz it's a great place to observe people's dressing and behavior. but it's wierd to be watching a popular original cast broadway performance and at the same time realize that there are people you know performing in the pit orchestra.
hmm. i feel as though the whole world is pointing at me with their fingers and shouting escapist into my face.
so the world has a new pope. wonder wat kinda political repurcussions there will be now that the old pope is gone and the new pope is here. ok i realize this sentence doesnt make a lot of sense. well it actually does makes sense just that it sounds funny. maybe it's cuz i mixed too much vodka in my sprite. so yeah you get the idea.
was watching friends just now and everybody loves raymond last night. super funny shit. i really miss whose line is it anyway. at least the drew carey more show is still being screened so i get to see 2 of the 3 clowns on that cast.
i find charity shows so hypocritical. the idea of offering rewards to encourage the public to make donations is so ironic and contradictory, especially for monetary gains. this year i see the organizers have taken that extra effort to make the nkf show less jaded by making celebrities more aggressive by teaching us how to dial numbers into our handphones and press the send button. now how cynical is that.
alright maybe i was just being opinionated. at least there are people out there doing their best to help the needy.
prom was pretty fun. i realize make up and hair styling can do wonders. anyway it was during xinyu's opening speech when it hit me that we were really leaving. it was a moment and feeling that i guess il remember for a very long time.
i really hate it when people go back on their word so casually and nonchalantly, much more when it puts me in a spot.
if only the world's economy starts to crash down and money became unimportant thrash making everything worthless and everyone equal. then maybe.. just maybe life would become more meaningful, worthwhile and enjoyable.
there are two things that i really want to do now:
1) play my sax
2) kick a ball
oh yes. cat high band. gold with honours eh. good job.
.
jem - 1:42 AM
Thursday, April 07, 2005
no me ames
------------------
no me ames, whatever that means, is a beautiful song.
it has been barely a week since exams ended. now it's just the agonizing wait for results that confirms graduation. doesnt help that ive come to a stage where im just so weary of everything i used to do.
the past week has been pretty eventful so to speak. and i havent felt the way im feeling in a pretty long time. partly cuz the burden of sch is finally off my shoulders, and also partly cuz ive put other bugging issues into perspective; and although the little repercussions of it still get to me once in awhile, im more or less a happy person.
:)
been observing certain friendships lately. growing friendships, stagnating friendships, and friendships that make the word seem all too cynical. i feel sad that im moving on in life without certain people who used to be really important to me; but at the same time im rather glad with the new opportunities and people that God has presented to me. ive always marveled at how some people can just instantly become so close to you, go through the same things as you, understand you and become part of your life. it's spiritual i say. but the one enemy that friendships face is vulnerability, which in this context is a very ambiguous word.
1 thing i feel very strongly about is how trust and responsibility should come with friendships.
just wonder how many friends ive let down in my life. but then again, i guess it's better that theyre left unrevealed.
champs league. :)
jem - 2:10 AM
Friday, April 01, 2005
gotta escape now
-----------------------
and my life seems to stop as if something is over and something has scarcely began.
.
jem - 4:26 PM
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
stretched
----------------
i wonder how id feel if it was true. euphoria would be far-fetched and devastation extreme. hope id be lacking in emotions but that would be inhuman. whatever it is, i prefer not to think so much. from wat ive concurred, it's not worth it.
my horoscope in the life section of today's newspaper tells me something which i find very amusing. alright i actually dont believe in any of that. but still it was in a way interesting.
been jogging for the past 2 days. ran/walked at least 10 click today. my hamstrings feel so stretched and numb and painful at the same time. but it's a good feeling. it's time i build my abominable fitness level.
argh another earthquake.
i think the end of the world is coming.
jem - 11:46 PM